i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
My ATM looks so different sober.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
