Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
