exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
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