you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
