I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I still have a little drunk in my system
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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