on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Randomize
