Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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