So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
