My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
