Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
