HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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