I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
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