I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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