Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
