Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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