I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Terrible idea I love it
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
He has the fingertips of a God
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
