Can Purell be used as lube?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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