I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
