All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
