Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
