Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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