booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
