I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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