I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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