on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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