thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
