First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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