He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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