David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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