Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
