I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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