Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
she peed on how many people?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
