So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
