take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Panties = found
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
