Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
