I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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