I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I don't think brook has ever known best
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize
