umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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