I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
