Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Randomize
