our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Vodka?
Forever.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
