Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
