If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
