i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
