There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I just gargled with NyQuil
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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