i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
