she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
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