so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
