so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
