You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
