to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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