if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I'm at about main and main street
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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