i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I think i peed on brittanys purse
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
