Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
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